I am training at the gym for bodysculpting competition and my male training partner is just so perfect, I find myself so very attracted to him and would love to get down right dirty with him. Also a full time commited realationship with him sounds great too.

Problem.... He has a girlfriend in the States and hasn't seen her for two & a half years, from what I can gather things a rough there between them. We train everyday together and get along great. Downside of all this training is that you lose your libido. He is also only 23 and I am 28, not that that should be a problem.

I love training with him and enjoy every moment together as we make each other laugh. He is very easy to get on with and I am strongly attracted to that. Plus he has a body to die for. How do I spend 12 weeks of my life with this guy and train so closely and keep my feelings out of it?

I fear telling him would ruin things, but also I would love for it to develop further. I get the feeling that he is a very commited guy and he does not want to hurt this other girl's feelings. I don't want to lose out on a chance of that someone very special.

What can I do to increase my chances in to his heart do you think? Another small factor is that he is Korean and maybe that he prefers his on kind, how do I find that out discreatley?

Please Help as this is driving me nutter than I already am.

Yours, C

Dear muscly

It seems clear that what we have here is a variation on the old tried-and-true student-teacher crush. The only difference between you and the To Sir With Love chick is that you and trainer-boy have to wear a lot more lycra.

It is natural for people, especially when they're spending a lot of time together (and in your case, sweating and panting a lot too, I imagine) to think that they are developing attachments to each other. But what you have to think about here is that what you're dealing with is a professional relationship (presumably you're paying him? ) which is always tricky to turn into a romantic one. Add in the complicating factor of the long-lost girlfriend and boom - big ole' hunk o' romantic trouble.

I suppose it comes down to how much you really want to sculpt your body. If you're willing to forgo the muscle-toning benefits he can offer you as a trainer in favour of other perhaps less strenuous activities, then 'fess up and see whether that's what he wants as well. If your competitive goals outshine your romantic ones then you'll have to just bite the bullet (or the barbell) and keep your attraction to yourself. You never know, that hint of sexual frustration might give you the edge over your protein-packed rivals.

LoveMan

Okay, the story runs like this. I met this girl when we began working together at a fast food restaurant, we got on like a house on fire and have been best friends ever since. This was about a year ago. Problem is I'm in love with her. I dunno what to do. Should I tell her and risk one of the best friendships I have ever had or tell her on the offchance that she feels the same way. I have asked lots of people for advice, many saying tell her, or she may get away forever. I dunno. What am I gonna do?

WAIGD.

Dear Wai

Ah, the old "I'm in love with my best friend" routine. It's surprising how often this happens.

As I've said many times before - love is risk. Unfortunately there is no way for you to know how she feels (unless you happen to be psychic) without asking her first. If she's anything like most women, she probably already has at least an inkling about your feelings (they don't call it feminine intuition for nothing) and will not be too surprised.

Given your situation, I suggest a creative approach. Perhaps you could conceal a love note in a burger wrapper. Or strategically place a flower in her regulation hairnet. Or hide a trinket in her Coke cup. Or arrange a rendezvous over the chip fryer..... you get the idea. Good luck!

LoveMan

I have been friends with my partner for a few years before we got together, there is no excitment in our relationship we both feel very comfortable with each other but I feel like I am with my brother.He wants to settle down and build a life together BUT!! something is stopping me from making this commitment. There is no excitment like a new relationship when you are learning about each other.Because we know each other so well nothing is new and exciting.He can give myself and my children everything we could possibly want but is this enough to stay with him and ruin a good friendship.I care for him alot but dont love him like he loves me, is it worth continuing the relationship or get out before its to late and everyone gets hurt?

Dear sis

Hmm. It is not a good sign if you feel like you are with your brother. Apart from anything else, it raises a whole lot of family inappropriateness issues which, frankly, I'm not qualified to deal with.

What you have to decide is - is this a problem because it's not like it was in the first flush of infatuation, when you were all a-flutter and life was rosy? If so, let me tell you a little secret - relationships change. It's impossible to keep excitement levels where they are when you first meet someone for very long - we'd all be old and grey and dropping like flies with heart attacks if that were the case.

If however this is a serious case of disillusionment, that's another story. But remember, bailing on a bond lke this is a biggie, SO - don't do that until you've talked to your beau about what you're feeling! Could be that he's got the same blues, and who knows - all you may need is a well-timed weekend away and a bit of chocolate body paint to get you back on the excitement track again.

LoveMan

There are these two guys that I really like, and just about equally. My affection for each of them fluxuates with the hour. One is a close friend who knows more about me than anyone else. I know that he likes me as more than a friend. (just trust me on that one.) he's quiet and he's very much like me, in that he's kind of a "down" person. He struggled through depression and isn't completely all right now, but that's kind of the way i am, and we have good times together and we understand eachother. plus he's incredibly sweet.

This other guy is someone who I have liked for almost three years now and he has finally noticed my existence. (yay!) he does cute little things to get my attention and stares at me frequently. He is the most attractive person i know, at least in my eyes, and he has an incredible smile, which he uses frequently, so I know he's a friendly person. I do know a little bit more about him than that, since we've had several conversations, just as casual chat, but even though he's not within very easy grasp, i'm completely head over heels for him and I'm so so sure that he likes me also. I think that if i knew him better i would like him better.

I don't mean that I want to you to tell me who to pick, but I would like some pointers on how to go about it myself.

thanks.

You are in an enviable - and unenviable - position.

Enviable because you should realise that some people go for years without ever meeting even one person they like the look of. So if you're feeling tortured you should just stop that right now because you're probably getting on people's nerves.

On the other hand, having to choose between one form of pleasure and another is never a fun time, so I wouldn't like to be in your shoes there. Of course there is a chance that you could pick both of these guys. Some people like that kind of thing, some people don't. Just raising it as an option.

The other (more sensible, probably) choices are pretty simple - guy a. or guy b. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Love is risk, my dear, that's why it's fun. If you really and truly can't decide which one you like best then toss a coin and take it from there.

LoveMan